Fighting depression- when there's no one to help you - Be your own backup: self applicable practical tools
Recently I came across several posts on social media that said people should reach out when they feel depressed .
Well, as someone who has been there, let me tell you that it is extremely challenging to do so. When you are depressed you most likely want to keep it to yourself. This is one of the main characteristics of depression, and even if you do reach out to those you trust, they may give you a cold shoulder which would intensify your pain a thousand times more.
While I was depressed, I gathered courage to reach out to a few of my loved ones, not related by blood but those I trusted and considered my own, and was ignored. It deeply hurt me because I always prioritized their well being over mine and they never looked out for me although they knew I was in pain. Despite me voicing my feelings they ignored me. Now when I look back, I realize that they too may have been fighting their own battles and their ignorance was probably a reflection of their mental state at that time. That was probably why they were unable to help me.
My experience during that phase of life taught me a valuable lesson, which was, to be my own backup, just like one of my mentors, Batman. I realized that I could count on only my self because at the end of the day I will not let me down and if I did, if would then be because of myself. Understanding this was not only an eye opener but was also a relief and it made me feel more responsible about myself. Once I came to a realization, it was now time to practically work towards helping myself recover.
I did not hold any ill feelings towards anyone for not being there for me, instead, I helped them when they were facing difficult times in life. Not just by sending them a text message to say take care of yourself, but also by practically helping them when they needed me. I believe in the use of both, empowering words as well as taking practical measures to reach out. The reason I never gave up being there for them was not to make them feel guilty for their poor actions but rather to show them that there is always a better way, there is always an option, and by doing so, I discovered that being self reliant yet being selfless can be our biggest strength and kindness always goes a long way.
Another practical way of helping yourself is to think Big!!! (At a universal level). If you look up images of our universe and try to find Earth, I bet you, you will not be able to. My point being, do not worry about people letting you down, or other things causing you grief because you do not have control over them.
Think of this beautiful universe and get curious, use your imagination and pain to help you navigate through the galaxy with your mind. You will see all your worries disappear in a jiffy and you will realize that it is not worth causing yourself pain because you are part of this large universe, you are incredible, you are amazing and you matter; which is why you are a valuable part in the grand scheme of things. This Universe consist of you because you are an important fragment of it and your being is not a coincidence but you are in fact a precious piece of this spectacular puzzle.
It is also very important to count your blessings, you could begin with some of the most basic blessing that you often overlook, like: can you breathe okay? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food on your table ? If yes to at least the first one, then you are good to go because I believe that as long as you can breathe you have a chance to change your life for good and trust me, life can change in a fraction of a second. If we have good intentions and don’t give up, nothing in this existence can defeat you.
Along with that, in order to recover from depression, you also need to learn to be adaptive and focus your mind on the solutions rather than the problems. Be ready to face your worst fears and to fail miserably if you have to, because, once you go through such experiences, you will know that you can handle hitting rock bottom.
Also remember, we are not immortal. The things of this Earth will not accompany us when we depart. The sooner we acknowledge it, the easier it becomes to let go off things that are not in our control, like people and materialistic things that cause suffering when held on to. You can always care for others but not be disheartened if they cant be there for you. Understanding this truth will be very helpful when you face challenges in life.
In the end I would like to remind you that It is okay to fail, but it is very important to always learn to pick yourself backup because as I said, you are your own backup and you are capable and more than enough to conquer this world with your own effort, good intentions and kindness and if you have people in your life that are there and willing to support you in your conquest then that is a big bonus.
Thank you for reading this 🙏
Pratik Ishwarbhai Patel.
